THE FIT DROIDS JOURNEY
Sol 52 –
My name is an Anterus and I am lost amongst you. I spend my days studying you and your planet and longing to return to my own.
Earth is a beautiful world, but so fragile, it makes me sad to see the way some of your people treat her. I arrived here just under an orbit of your moon ago, and although I studied the millions of broadcasts, messages and images your species are forever beaming off your world, I cannot say I understand you entirely.
You are all so wonderfully different and yet you choose to make conflict over it. On my world we embrace diversity and although here on Earth you would describe me as athletic, on my own world they would consider me small. Yet my stature did not prevent the council from sending me as an ambassador, but now I find myself among you, I am not sure you are ready to hear what I have to say.
Meanwhile I have to fit into this strange world like… how would you put it… round hole square peg. One thing I am not going to miss is your clothing. I know I’m bigger than most of you, but I am not unique. I’ve seen others like me around and it looks like they have the same problem. Back on my home world it doesn’t matter what size, shape or colour you are, you can get a pair of jeans that fit you… OK we don’t call them jeans and we don’t do denim, but you get the idea.
Today I tried latte for the first time and I have to be honest from the sheer availability of these things alone I have to confess I was expecting more.
My next mission is to rendezvous with the rest of my team. Lyla has been here an orbit longer than I and I am hoping she understands your cultures better than I and I have heard Nothing from Bree or Qo.
SOL 53 –
I have discovered to my horror what you put in Lattes, if this were my planet they would laugh at me if I ever told them what I have ingested. I am forbidden from revealing anything about our technology, but I can tell you that the substance you refer to as caffeine plays an important part in fueling our space craft and I cannot begin to tell you what we do with ‘milk’.
The more I learn about your planet though, the more I realise we are not really so different. Aside from your capacity for hate and harm we have many of the same hopes, dreams and desires. It is my firm belief that one day we will be able to get along in peace. I am meeting Lyla later, she gained employment as a fitness instructor, which if you knew how lazy she was back home ,would really make you laugh.
There is still no word from Bree, I only hope he has had the sense to keep his head down. At nearly 2 and half metres in height, he will stick out on this planet like a someone drinking milk on mine. My legs and arms seem so cumbersome and despite this I met a man today who tells me I have good arms with good muscles. I laughed and asked him, if I have good strong arms then why can’t I find a t-shirt which fits me , he laughed too and said he has the same problem. I wonder what he would do it if I could show him my wardrobe back on Fit Droid… I think he might have cried.
Sol 54 –
Today has been a day of mixed feelings, my elation at seeing Lyla again was short lived when I discovered a picture of Bree on a Billboard outside her Gym. Keeping his head down was clearly beyond him and now his big stupid face is all over the city. He might as well be wearing a fit droids t-shirt. I have been here for over an orbit now and I still can’t find a pair of Jeans which will go over my legs and don’t have a waist designed for two people.
SOL 55 –
Great so he is wearing a Fit droids t-shirt… brilliant. Bree has seemingly teamed up with someone called Yulia and now he has turned our entire planet into the next Diesel or Super Dry.
*note to self remember to kill Bree the first chance you get… on the plus side it looks like I should be able to find some jeans that fit me soon…
Sadly there is still no word from Qo.
SOL 56 –
This is a strange world, sometimes awe inspiring and often awful. I miss my own world, but we are not done here. I met with Bree who is now going under the ridiculous pseudonym Brett. His reasoning for risking exposing our mission was, and I quote… ” To hide in plain sight.”
I looked it up and unbelievably hiding in plain sight is actually a thing. It turns out the poor inhabitants of this strange world go through life under so much stress that it’s possible to hide the obvious, right under their weird little noses.
I can’t help loving this confusing planet and its otherworldly occupants sometimes… anyways it turns out this Yulia has been working with ‘Brett’ for nearly the entire orbit and together they’ve created an entire collection of outfits to fit our more athletic figures. I still can’t believe there wasn’t something like this already… I mean getting to our size on this planet takes proper dedication, so why would anyone bother if when they finally managed it, all they could do is wear sweatpants and ugly clothes that don’t fit them. It would be like learning the piano, but never letting anyone hear you play.
The clothes I could understand, we need to have something to wear, and something to do while we await rescue, but I’ m not sure if I can forgive Bree for his protein shaker and pill boxes. His Fit Droid shakers are an exact replica of our deep space helmets, and while I have to agree they are very cool, the only other way he could jeopardise our mission more is by telling people we come from another planet.
SOL 57 –
So… Bree’s marketing campaign involves telling the public that he comes from another planet and now I have no excuse for not killing him earlier.
In other news I am falling for this planet. Hidden amongst the crazies and the corporations are a world of amazing life affirming people who bravely shoulder the responsibility of keeping their delicate home safe from others.
One final piece of good news today. We have tracked down Qo. One of Bree/Brett’s new associates has discovered his location. He is injured, but lives and he had a single message for us. A message which made my spirits soar.
The message read… Fit Droids – Rescue is Coming.